What comes after the hipsters?

The Buick LeSabre

After the hipsters will come the fogeys: youth who affect elderly ways.

We’ve already seen the trend’s roots in hipsterdom. Dyed-gray hair, button-up sweaters, knitting and so on. But the fogeys will go further. Canes, walkers, motorized scooters, Centrum Silver, bifocals, medicinal lotions, compression socks and diapers. Conveniently, it’ll be golf, crosswords and bingo all day. Assisted living communities will pop up in Brooklyn to meet the fogeys’ demand.

Fogeys will fight Craigslist bidding wars over Buick LeSabres. A handicapped parking tag will be instant street cred. SXSW will introduce the masses to Welkcore. Viagra will be a given, and promiscuity will reach new milestones. Fogeys will pinch pennies and pay by check, or else openly acknowledge – finally – their comfy fixed incomes.

Photo by normanack via Flickr.

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